Two Kinds of Boundaries: Defining Who You Really Are and Creating Signature Style

Defining Boundaries: Establishing Who You Are

Is it sort of annoying to you when people don’t know what they like? Or are you one of the people who has a harder time with that? This is something that will come to light when you discover your personality type, and is foundational to creating signature style.

Today, I’m talking about boundaries. I’ll define the two kinds of boundaries and explain how the concept relates to discovering your style DNA. Then, to keep it tactical, I will give you a quick measurement to reveal your best skirt lengths.

As I write this, I am right in the season when, two years ago, the hero was obviously sick and we had no idea he would die. 

We were married for 33 years and during that time I became more and more comfortable wearing stuff that he didn’t understand. There were alot of things about women’s clothes that he didn’t understand. And the more I understood about what specifically was right for me, the less self-conscious I felt about his judgments. 

And, somehow, mysteriously, within the first few months of when he died, I started to notice that people were interacting with me more like they were seeing me for who I really am. This is true for both people I was just meeting and people I had already known. 

Parenthetically, I notice when I wear certain colors that people also tend to interact with me more like I prefer to be interacted with. I think I’ve told this before, but I have this iridescent coral leather jacket and if I wore that into a store, the people who work there would start talking to me and I could get helped. 

Defining Boundaries vs Protective Boundaries

The two kinds of boundaries are defining boundaries and protective boundaries. 

When I first encountered the idea of boundaries, protective boundaries seems to be the thing people were talking about. Kind of an if, then statement with consequences. 

When I was teaching the book beyond boundaries in a recovery ministry setting, I learned about the concept of defining boundaries. Defining boundaries are “values that establish who you are and who you are not”. 

Now, this may sound elementary to you if you are really solid in who you are as a person and your own preferences and identity and all that, but some of us come out of the gate not very in touch with our own preferences. For us, identifying what we like can be a part of the journey to discovering who we are.

How does this relate to style DNA? In my opinion, you have a right to define your own style; a defining boundary could be around whose opinion gets consideration when it comes to what you wear.

How to Figure Out Your Best Skirt Lengths

So I promised to give you some tactical. And as we go into spring, thinking about dresses feels appropriate. 

Here’s how to figure out your best skirt lengths. Measure from your knee to the top of your foot. Is that measurement greater than or less than two times the length of your face? If the measurement of your lower leg is greater than or equal to two times The length of your face, your best skirt lengths Will be around knee length; if the measurement of your lower leg is less than two times the length of your face, Your best skirt links will be mini, Maddie, or Maxi. If the skirt length you prefer are not the ones described here for your body measurements, it’s likely there’s something else going on. But this should work for 80% of people and it should be what you already like!