What comes to mind when you think of self-care for moms? What if I told you it doesn’t have to be bubble baths and spa days, but there’s a hidden form of self-care happening right in your closet every morning? For me, realizing that getting dressed was self-care was a gradual awakening. I kept seeing this pattern where women would disconnect from taking care of themselves, and I started wondering what was really happening.
Then someone told me something unrelated that made it all click. They said that when people struggle with their body image, they often dissociate. From their bodies. They disconnect. And when you’re disconnected from your body, you’re not thinking about your external presentation. It becomes this cycle – the less you care for yourself, the worse you feel, which makes you care even less.
But here’s what I’ve learned: we can reverse this cycle. And it starts with understanding that getting dressed isn’t vanity. It’s self-care.
The Psychology Behind Why This Matters
Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer’s research shows us something remarkable about making choices. In her famous nursing home study from the 1970s, she found that when elderly residents were given simple choices – like when to watch a movie or how to arrange their room – they didn’t just feel better. They actually lived longer.
Eighteen months later, the people who had been encouraged to make daily decisions were twice as likely to still be alive compared to those who had everything decided for them.
Here’s what this tells us: making conscious choices isn’t just about preferences. It’s about exercising autonomy, and autonomy is directly connected to our physical and mental well-being.
Now, think about getting dressed. Every morning, you have dozens of choices to make. What to wear, how to style your hair, whether to add accessories. When we operate on autopilot – just grabbing whatever’s clean – we’re missing daily opportunities to exercise choice and care for ourselves.
The research on persona from Carl Jung supports this too. Jung found that when we neglect how we present ourselves to the world – our “persona” – it creates a negative psychological cycle. We start feeling disconnected from ourselves, which makes us care less about our appearance, which makes us feel worse about ourselves.
Easy Self-Care for Moms: The Five Levels
In a previous episode, I shared my five levels of style psychology. Today I want to show you how these levels are actually progressive forms of self-care, building from basic body care to authentic self-expression.
Level 1: Basic Body Care This is ensuring your body is covered and protected from the elements.
- Meeting basic coverage needs shows respect for your physical body
- Choosing weather-appropriate clothing protects your health
- Having clean, intact clothing demonstrates basic self-respect
Even at this fundamental level, you’re making choices that care for yourself. You’re saying “my body deserves protection and respect.”
Level 2: Comfort as Self-Care This is prioritizing how your clothes feel on your body.
- Choosing comfortable fabrics honors your physical needs
- Avoiding restrictive clothing respects your body’s natural movement
- Selecting clothes that feel good to wear acknowledges that your comfort matters
This level says “I deserve to feel good in my own skin.” That’s self-care.
Level 3: Social Self-Care
This is dressing in ways that help you feel connected and appropriate in your communities.
- Dressing for your workplace shows you value your professional relationships
- Choosing clothes that fit your social group helps you feel belonging
- Understanding dress codes demonstrates care for how others experience you
This isn’t about losing yourself to fit in. It’s about caring for your social well-being and relationships.
Level 4: Competence as Self-Advocacy This is where you actively manage how others perceive your capability.
- Dressing professionally advocates for your skills and expertise
- Putting effort into your appearance signals that you take yourself seriously
- Looking put-together helps others take you seriously too
When you dress competently, you’re advocating for yourself. You’re saying “I deserve respect and recognition.”
Level 5: Authentic Self-Expression This is expressing your true personality and values through your style choices.
- Wearing clothes that reflect who you are honors your authentic self
- Making bold or unique choices exercises creative self-expression
- Developing your personal style celebrates your individuality
This level of self-care says “who I am matters, and I deserve to be seen and celebrated for my authentic self.”
Breaking the Disconnection Cycle
When we avoid making conscious style choices, we’re actually avoiding taking responsibility for our own well-being. But the beautiful thing is that small, gentle choices can help us reconnect.
Daily Self-Care for Moms Through Getting Dressed:
- Take three extra minutes to choose clothes that feel good rather than just grabbing whatever’s closest
- Look in the mirror and say one kind thing about how you look today
- Choose one small thing – a piece of jewelry, a lip color, a scarf – that makes you smile
- Notice how different outfits affect your mood and energy throughout the day
- Ask yourself what makes sense for your day before choosing your outfit
Remember my story about refusing to let my husband buy me a Roomba when they first came out? I had this resistance to investing in something that would genuinely make my daily life better. I see the same thing happen with clothes. Women resist investing in themselves, even when it would improve their daily experience.
But here’s the truth: taking care of how you present yourself to the world isn’t superficial. It’s fundamental. When you make conscious choices about your appearance, you’re exercising autonomy. You’re practicing self-respect. You’re caring for your psychological well-being. It’s self-care for moms, and for everyone else.
Most moms think getting dressed is just another chore to get through, but actually it’s one of the most accessible forms of daily self-care. Every morning, you have the opportunity to make choices that honor yourself, care for your body, and express who you are.
Self-Care for Moms Homework
Here’s something simple you can do this week to integrate these principles into your wardrobe: Before getting dressed tomorrow morning, pause and try the question that fits your personality type. If you’re an FP or TJ type, ask yourself “What do I need my clothes to help me feel and accomplish today?” If you’re an FJ or TP type, ask yourself “What makes sense for me to wear based on who I’ll be with today?” Then make one conscious choice based on your answer.
Don’t know your personality type? I can help with that! Book your conversational personality profiling here. This is also self-care for moms 😘