What if Personal Style Isn’t Frivolous?
Personal style gets dismissed as superficial all the time.
I hear it constantly. “I shouldn’t spend money on clothes when there are more important things.” Or “figuring out what to wear seems so trivial compared to everything else I need to do.”
But here’s what I want you to consider today: Most people think personal style is a luxury, but actually it’s an essential tool for removing friction and freeing your energy for what matters most.
That friction shows up in small ways every single day. You stand in front of your closet feeling overwhelmed. You try on three outfits before you find one that feels okay. You spend the day tugging at your clothes or checking your reflection, wondering if you made the right choice.
All of that is friction. And it costs you more than you realize.
In this article, I’m going to walk you through why authentic personal style isn’t about vanity or luxury. It’s about removing the daily distractions that keep you from being fully present.
We’ll explore what friction actually looks like in your wardrobe, why surface-level style help doesn’t solve the problem, and how understanding your personal style creates the kind of ease that lets you forget about what you’re wearing and focus on what you’re actually doing.
Why Personal Style Feels Frivolous (But Isn’t)
Let me tell you about a woman I worked with recently.
She’s accomplished, smart, doing meaningful work in the world. And she came to me saying, “I just want to forget about what I’m wearing so I can focus on the people I’m connecting with.”
That statement stuck with me. Because it’s not about caring less about how she looks. It’s about caring more about being present.
She’d tried working with in-store stylists before. They’d pull things for her to try on and then say yes or no. But here’s the problem with that approach: they were making decisions based on trends or their own taste, not on understanding her body, her personality, or what actually works for her.
So nothing stuck. She’d go home with pieces that looked fine in the store, but when she wore them in real life, something felt off. The friction was still there.
This is what happens when you get surface-level help without the foundational understanding.
And honestly, this is something that frustrates me professionally. People expect me to just look at them and instantly know if something is right. But I can’t do that without the in-depth analysis first. I need to understand your body’s lines, your personality, your coloring, your energy. That’s what allows me to guide you toward what actually works.
Without that foundation, it’s just guessing. And guessing creates more friction, not less.
What Friction Actually Costs You
Think about the last time you felt uncomfortable in what you were wearing.
Maybe you worried people were judging you. You kept thinking about how you looked instead of what you were doing.
That’s friction. And it costs you more than you realize.
Every time you second-guess an outfit, that’s decision fatigue. Self-consciousness keeps you focused inward instead of outward. All those mornings standing in your closet, trying things on and taking them off. When you don’t trust your style choices, that lack of confidence shows up in how you carry yourself and engage with others.
The cost of friction is enormous. And it’s completely unnecessary.
Understanding Personal Style Removes Friction
I want to share a personal story with you.
Years ago, I went to my husband’s office Christmas party wearing a thrifted dress. The shape of the dress was actually fine for my body. But it was very different from what everyone else was wearing.
I felt self-conscious the entire evening. Not because anyone was unkind. Everyone was perfectly friendly. But I was so aware that I looked different, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
That experience stayed with me for a long time.
Now, years later, I understand body shape and silhouette in a way I didn’t then. And here’s what’s changed: I can wear something that’s a completely different shape from what’s currently popular, and I don’t feel self-conscious at all.
Because it’s anchored in me. I know it works for my body. I’m showing up as myself, not trying to fit into what everyone else is wearing.
That’s the shift that happens when you understand your personal style. The external rules stop mattering as much, because you have internal clarity.
You’re not looking around comparing yourself to everyone else. You’re grounded in what actually works for you.
And that removes the friction.
What Happens When Friction Disappears
You open your closet in the morning and you know what to reach for. You get dressed and you feel good. The fit is right, the colors work, the overall effect feels like you.
And then you forget about it.
You go through your day focused on the people you’re with and the work you’re doing. You’re not checking your reflection or tugging at your clothes. You’re fully present.
That’s what happens when friction disappears. You get your energy back. And you can focus it on things that actually matter.
This is why I do what I do. When people show up authentically, they remove enough friction to create momentum for solving real problems. When you’re not distracted by yourself, you’re free to focus outward.
Why Personal Style Matters More Than You Think
Most people think personal style is a luxury, but actually it’s an essential tool for removing friction and freeing your energy for what matters most.
This isn’t about becoming someone who cares about fashion. It’s about becoming someone who doesn’t have to think about fashion because you’ve figured out what works.
If you want to explore how your personality type influences the friction you experience with style, I have a free video masterclass called The Myers-Briggs Key to Signature Style. It shows you the hidden connection between your cognitive functions and what actually feels right to wear.
And if you’re realizing that personal style isn’t frivolous and you’re ready to discover what actually works for you, The Congruence Code aligns your energy, personality, and style through a two-hour personality profiling conversation. You’ll receive a style blueprint and seasonal energy color palette that gives you clarity for confident decisions, so you can stop second-guessing and focus on what you’re actually doing.
Personal Style Project
Try an experiment with me.
Create an outfit that feels like a little bit of a stretch. Not something completely outside your comfort zone, but something that pushes the edge just slightly. Maybe it’s a color you don’t usually wear, or a silhouette that feels a little bolder than your typical choice.
Wear it somewhere. Not to a high-stakes event, but somewhere normal. Coffee with a friend. Errands. A regular workday.
And then notice: Can you get to that self-forgetful place? Can you stop thinking about what you’re wearing and just be present?
Sometimes the things that initially feel like a stretch end up being favorites once you get used to wearing them. That’s because you’re expanding your comfort zone based on understanding, not just staying inside familiar territory out of habit.
Try it this week and see what happens.
Your Next Personal Style Step
Are you tired of standing in front of a full closet feeling like you have nothing to wear? Spending mental energy every morning second-guessing your outfit choices? Feeling self-conscious throughout the day instead of being fully present with the people and work that matter most?
The Congruence Code helps you align your energy, personality, and style so you can show up authentically every single day. You’ll stop second-guessing and start trusting your style choices, freeing your energy for what actually matters. Unlike surface-level styling that just tells you what to try on, The Congruence Code goes deep. Through comprehensive personality profiling, we uncover how your mind works and how that shows up in your style preferences. You’ll receive a custom style blueprint and color palette based on your unique personality and energy, not generic categories or trending advice.
This is a two-hour investment that creates lasting clarity. You’ll walk away with tools you can use for years, not just temporary fixes that stop working when trends change. I invite you to schedule your personality profiling conversation. It’s time to remove the friction and show up as yourself.